London Grilling: Sarah Fox, Volunteer Recruitment & Training Manager, The Listening Place
In the heart of Mental Health Awareness Week, we had the privilege of speaking with Sarah Fox, the Volunteer Recruitment & Training Manager at The Listening Place - a sanctuary for individuals grappling with suicidal thoughts. Sarah's journey in mental health advocacy is both inspiring and educational, illuminating the importance of compassionate listening and community support in our society.
Founded in 2016, The Listening Place emerged from a noticeable gap in support for those experiencing suicidal thoughts, a vision brought to life by Sarah Anderson, a former Samaritan. This charity offers a vital lifeline, providing face-to-face support in a confidential and compassionate environment. Its uniqueness lies in its immediacy of support and sustained visitor-volunteer relationships, fostering a space where individuals can freely express their darkest thoughts without fear of judgment or immediate repercussions.
Sarah detailed the staggering statistics of suicide in the UK, highlighting the urgent need for services like those offered by The Listening Place. With over 27,000 referrals since its inception, the organization continues to grow, illustrating the pressing demand for such supportive spaces.
Operating from multiple locations across London and staffed by a dedicated team of volunteers, The Listening Place is open nearly every day of the year, offering a beacon of hope to those in dire need. Sarah passionately discussed the recruitment and training of volunteers, underscoring that empathy, reliability, and the ability to listen are the cornerstone qualities they seek. As we delve into this interview, Sarah offers a profound look into the operations, challenges, and heartfelt moments experienced at The Listening Place. Her insights not only shed light on the critical work being done but also on how each of us can contribute to bettering mental health support in our communities.
Join us as we explore the mission and impact of The Listening Place, and learn how this remarkable organisation continues to offer solace and hope to those facing some of their toughest moments.
What does Mental Health Awareness Week mean to you?
Thank you for asking me to speak with you, it’s a pleasure, especially in such an important week. I think we’re all aware of how vital it is that we look after our own mental health – our mind is probably the most important part of our body – and also to be compassionate and caring when others are struggling. As a society, our approach has certainly improved, and struggles with mental health are no longer ignored and hidden as they were in the past, but sadly there can still be stigma, and I think fear attached to mental health problems. For me, this week is about being able to talk openly and honestly – it takes courage to ask someone how they feel and push past the automatic ‘fine’, just as it takes courage to give an honest answer about how you do feel. We need to be asking the difficult questions and giving the difficult answers. By putting mental health at the centre of public awareness, we can all work to make sure that anyone suffering with their mental health can get the quality health care they need. At The Listening Place, we’re all so aware of how difficult it can be for those who feel suicidal to get the support they need as quickly as they need it.
Tell us about The Listening Place, when did it begin and what was the inspiration behind creating this space?
The Listening Place is a charity providing face to face support for adults who feel suicidal. To give some context, there are over 6500 completed suicides in the UK every year, which on average is about 18 a day, and it’s the highest cause of death in men under 55 and all adults under 35. These are shocking numbers.
The charity was set up by our founder, Sarah Anderson, in 2016; she’d been a Samaritan for over 30 years, and she realised there was a gap in the existing support for people who were experiencing suicidal thoughts and feelings. They would find themselves in a ‘revolving door’ of making a suicide attempt, being admitted to A&E, released back to their GP and being unable to find support, so attempting suicide again – the result was The Listening Place. Our mission is very simple; we’re a safe place for people who feel life is no longer worth living to come and talk freely and completely confidentially about their suicidal thoughts and feelings. There is a lot of evidence that asking someone if they are suicidal can actually protect them. If they feel truly listened to, they can feel less trapped in those feelings and thoughts and they know that someone cares about them.
What makes The Listening Place unique?
Where to start! There are three key things which make our service unique for visitors. Firstly, 100% confidentiality. Many of our visitors – which is what we call the people who use our service – may never have spoken about their suicidal feelings to anyone. They may be worried about losing their jobs, or having their children taken away, or being sectioned, and the fact that they can have complete trust and confidence in our confidentiality gives them the courage to speak about anything and everything.
Secondly, the speed of our referral process, we contact every referral within 24 hours and offer a first appointment within one week, this means people who are suicidal don't end up on lengthy waiting lists. There really is no point telling someone who feels suicidal that they need to wait weeks or months for an appointment.
Lastly, we give sustained support. This means visitors have time to build a trusting relationship with their volunteer and don't have to retell their story each time they use our service.
These unique features are why what we do works – we have had over 27,000 referrals since we opened, and in that time, we have lost 21 visitors to suicide. Each of those deaths is a tragedy but given that we only support people who are suicidal, this statistic suggests our service is effective for a lot of people.
Our volunteers are also what makes us unique. They are the most amazing, compassionate, brave, and diverse group of people and they’ve all chosen to volunteer at The Listening Place because they are bound by one common aim: to give someone who is feeling suicidal the place to talk. Our volunteers work on shifts, and those teams become incredibly close, and supportive of each other, it’s a wonderful thing to see.
How many visitors do you typically see come through your doors in a week? Is the number growing or reducing?
When The Listening Place opened eight years ago, we were seeing around 20 visitors a week – we now see over 150 a week, and we support people from all 32 London boroughs and the home counties. As I said, we have had over 27,000 referrals since we opened and that number continues to grow, there is such a demand for our service. On the one hand, it’s so sad that we are needed, but on the other hand it is a blessing that our visitors have somewhere to go. Most of our referrals (around 70%) comes from the NHS, with the rest from other charities, the police, universities, social services and then a small number are re-referrals, Our doors are always open for people to return if they find themselves in a crisis again.
Once we know that the person who has been referred to us fits our criteria – they need to be 18 or over, they need to be able to get into one of our sites, and they need to be suicidal – we will set up appointments for the first three months and then more if they need them, with the same volunteer throughout. This continuity is a crucial part of what we offer: over time a relationship of trust develops between the visitor and the volunteer, and the visitor can talk freely and honestly, with no fear of repercussions.
What days of the week are your services available and where are you based?
We started with one site, in Pimlico, and we were open two days a week – it seems hard to believe now! We weren’t sure there would be any demand for the support we offer, but we’ve since opened two more sites, in Kings Cross and Hammersmith and we are now open seven days a week, 7am -7pm. We only close on Christmas Day and New Year’s Day. Our next site, our 4th, will be in East London, and we are hoping to have that up and running early next year. We now have around 800 active volunteers, but of course we always need more, as the number of referrals keep growing, so in anyone wants to apply, please get in touch!
What sort of support to you receive / require to keep The Listening Place open?
To keep TLP open, it costs around £1.8m a year. It might sound like a lot but bear in mind we will support 6,300 people and it works out at less than £300 per person. When this could be someone’s life, £300 does not feel like a lot at all.
We are pretty much entirely reliant on donations to keep our operation going as we receive very little money from the government or the NHS. We know that we’re in a cost of living crisis and it’s not within everyone’s gift to support TLP but for those who can, your money will directly impact on someone’s life when they are going through their darkest moments.
How can someone become a volunteer and what sort of training is offered?
I think people might assume that our volunteers need to have a therapy or counselling background, but that couldn’t be further from the truth, we don’t look for any particular experience or qualifications. Anyone aged 18 or over can apply to be a volunteer, and what we look for are people who care, who want to help, who are warm and empathetic and who can listen without judgement or giving advice. They also need to have the time, since this is long-term volunteering. Our visitors come to us for regular ongoing appointments, so we need our volunteers to be reliable and committed.
The volunteer roles we recruit for are Helping Volunteers and Listening Volunteers. Our Helping Volunteers are the face of the charity and are vital in creating the wonderfully warm and welcoming atmosphere that our visitors find so helpful. They greet the visitors when they arrive, make them a cup of tea (never underestimate the power of a cuppa!), make sure the listening rooms and reception are tidy, and provide invaluable support to the wider team – it’s a very rewarding role and they are highly valued by everyone. Our lovely Listening Volunteers make up the bulk of our volunteer team and provide the face to face support to our visitors.
We recognise that what we do is not for everyone, so our recruitment and training process is robust and selective, it needs to be, we wouldn’t want to put either our visitors or our volunteers at risk. Once a potential volunteer has applied and attended an information meeting (where we tell them everything about The Listening Place, what they can expect and what we need), they will have an interview and if that goes well there are about 18 hours of training to be a Listening Volunteer, and four hours for the Helping Volunteers. All our interviewers and trainers are experienced volunteers, and they are a fabulous team, they give up so much time to nurture our potential volunteers to become fully fledged volunteers.
We’re very aware of what we’re asking our volunteers to do, so there‘s a lot of support for them once they join us. There is a Supervising Volunteer on every shift, who manages the team, there are mental health professionals who give their time freely to offer advice and support, there is an amazing staff team, there is a dedicated Volunteer Support team and of course, the volunteers support each other. No one is ever alone at The Listening Place, we are all there for each other.
What are some of tell tale signs that someone may be suffering from poor mental health?
There are so many different ways people can show that they’re struggling with their mental health, both physical and emotional. There may be a sudden change in appetite, with loss of weight, or weight gain, and perhaps starting to rely heavily on drugs or alcohol. Trouble sleeping can be a sign that someone is suffering from poor mental health (or they may sleep all the time). They may have extreme mood changes and emotional outbursts, struggle to concentrate or become confused or irritable. They may become depressed, or feel guilty or worthless. Choosing to become more isolated and withdrawing from friends and family can be a sign.
What steps can be taken to support a friend or family member who may be struggling?
Before thinking about how to offer support, it’s important that we feel mentally able to support someone else ourselves, and that we are willing to genuinely listen. It can be hard to know what to do for the best when someone you care about is struggling with their mental health, but that support from friends and family can be so powerful and it’s important to trust your gut instinct and act on it, while at the same time accepting that you can’t fix other people’s problems. Try to find the right time for you both to talk, and ideally somewhere private and safe – you don’t want to be interrupted or overheard - then ask them how they are and let them know you’ve seen some changes. They’ll know that you care, and this gives them the chance to talk. If they find it hard to open up, offer reassurance that you are there to listen when they are ready to talk. You can ask if there is someone they want you to contact, a friend, their GP. Acknowledge their feelings, they are real to them, and having them dismissed makes it difficult for them to open up. If someone tells you they are suicidal, encourage them to get help, as a first step from their GP or by going to A&E, or even getting in touch with The Listening Place. And there are so many other organisations who can support people who are struggling with their mental health or feeling suicidal. And keep checking in with them, it reminds them that they are not alone.
Can you recommend ways we can mind our own mental health? What are some good practices?
Everyone will have different ways in which they mind their own mental health, and we all need to practise what works best for us. I have a friend who swears by a 3-mile run, but I’d much rather go dancing – each to their own! But it’s well known that mental and physical health are interlinked – looking after your body nourishes your mind, so go for that healthy food and plenty of water – it works, and cooking itself can be a nice way to look after your mental health. Exercise is another good practice that can make such a difference: swimming, running, yoga, trampolining, whatever works for you and makes you feel good. Of course, sleep is so important. A good night’s sleep makes such a difference to our mood and energy, as we all know. It’s not always so easy to get into these good habits when one is feeling distressed, but with time they do help. And be kind to yourself – I know it’s a cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason.
Obviously, I am going to say – talk! Stay connected to your friends and family, that social connection is so important in boosting your mental health, and if you find it hard to share your feelings with those closes to you, contact one of the many charities who are there for this very reason. And if you find you need it, seek professional help, don’t struggle on alone. But it is equally important that we are good listeners when someone else is ready to talk; patient, empathetic, listening without judgement and being completely present for the person.
Where can people find you online?
If you would like to find out more about us, you can find our website here. And if anyone is inspired to join our wonderful band of volunteers, go ahead and fill in our application form. Reach out and save a life!
But perhaps more importantly, if you are feeling suicidal, or you know someone who you think may need our support, please get in touch.
